Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
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Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize