A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
