did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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