I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize