So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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