Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
