Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize