You don't have asthma, your pregnant
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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