Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
