Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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