I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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