A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
