you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
