You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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