So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
