she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize