Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
