I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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