Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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