my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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