Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
