he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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