what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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