I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
