You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
