Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
