she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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