No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize