just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
