Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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