Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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