You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
