The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What drink are we having for lunch?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
