This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
