I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
