i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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