But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
