with your own penis?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This is my gift to your gina
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
