eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
