dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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