You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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