I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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