I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
