I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
