would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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