respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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