white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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