he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize