Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
