Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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