Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
