Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Barsexuality is the new black.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
