I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
