he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
