Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he thought i was a dude.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
