I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
