you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
