i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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