I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
