omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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