No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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