Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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