Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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