Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
