Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
