I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
