yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
