Yo dont text me then not text me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
