Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
